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Monday, December 7, 2009


I just feel like typing. I love the way that it feels to type. I love the rhythmic motion, and the sound. I could type all day and love it.

I have some things on my mind. And I feel like trying to get them off my chest. If I piss some people off that is just to bad. I really don't care. This is my blog and I'll say what I want. Don't like that? Don't read it.

people are interesting to me. I was gone 10 months, without a word from some people. and now, I'm home and people want to act like they missed me?

It's weird to go to church. I heard nothing from anyone at my church when I was away. I never got card, letter, call, email, anything. I really felt like they forgot me. How hard is it to send someone a card? or leave a facebook message? SOMETHING. I heard nothing from these people. I actually felt like... like I should look for a church that cares if I go missing. I felt like no one cared.

So I go to church this morning and people are quick to tell me how much they missed me and its nice to have me back. And I kinda feel like... well, you knew how to reach me. I know you did because I gave you the address. You could have sent a card. I honestly felt like saying to some people "Really? you missed me? Cause you had my address, you could have wrote me. I figured you forgot about me... ". But I'm to nice and sweet to do that.

This morning in church I did mention to someone that I kinda felt like no one noticed I was gone. And she dared to say "Well when you're not a very active part of the church..". Seriously? really? I've been going to this church since I was a freshman in high school, every sunday unless I was ill. Beyond just going, I was helping start a puppet ministry, and knitting prayer shawls. How is that not being active?

It would just be nice to have people that care enough to notice that I'm not there for 10 months, and then care enough to contact me, just say "Hi, we haven't forgotten about you!"

I don't know. I'm just tired of people being fake I guess. And I guess I don't feel bad about saying most of this because the people I'm talking about will probably never read this blog. And if they do, meh, oh well. At least they will know how I feel.

I have a hard week ahead of me. I have a lot of things going on this week that are going to be far from easy to face. Some of my friends know what these things are. Some don't. I don't feel like posting about it here. But its not going to be a fun week.

[/personal crap]

On to knitting things... The doll outfit is coming along. About to start decreases. It will be nice to move on to something that isn't just straight knit. Cause I'm getting a little bored with it.

I'm aching to start another sweater as I've not done one for a while. I think I might do $5 in Paris. It looks like it would be a lot of fun :). And it's one I might have the yarn laying around for. If not, its not an expensive one, and that makes me happy.

I've been up early these past few days. Hmm. Not something I really want to do, but not an awful habit I guess.

Kinda have nothing else to say..


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